It is not a good day. A great may things are weighing heavy on my mind. I'm not going to go into detail at the mo' given the sensitivity of the topics, the people involved, and the vulnerability in expressing them openly in this arena. Rest assured, I am still looking for the tunnel in hopes that a light may be found at it's end.
Holiday time is fast approaching. I will be found in a different province, under a different roof for about a week. I'm looking forward to the change in scenery, deeds, and peeps that come with the visit. I don't expect it to be relaxing, but I do expect it to be rewarding in the long run. How's that for cryptic?
Sorry... I can't see myself clear to navigating total disclosure just yet. I guess that will be the next "challenge". It is not my intent to write exclusively about neti-pots and jelly drops. If the intent of blogging is to provide an on-going capture of the internal dialogue, there will have to come a time where more honest and forthright posts are the norm. I am not there yet. I want to approach that goal carefully so as to respect not only my own thoughts and privacy, both those of the people around me that may be affected or directly involved in the exchange.
Speaking of jelly drops, here my wish list for Santa Boots (in no particular order):
- Camera - The spankier the better, but as I have none, anything will do. I've been feeling the desire to produce in that medium for a while now, but lack the tools at the moment.
- Storage/Router - Laptops are truly laptops when they are free from tethers. Storage becomes more critical if there's more production/amassing of media.
- Eye Candy - A new telebishion and shiny PS3 are "wanna gets" just for the fun of it. An indulgence for certain... one that the grown-up brain has difficulty reconciling. In my mind, it's perfectly acceptable for a 40+ fella (age, not size) to want to run around and bounce off virtual walls. Justifying it however, is a different matter. Admittedly, I also feel oddly competitive with "El Ex" on this one as well.
- Recording Gear - So as to help execute the on-going threat of actually producing something for the world to hear. I've had some notable difficulty in actuating this to date.
- Chip-Nuts: The FSM's gift from the dining world to the snacking world. http://www.picardspeanuts.ca/products/chipnuts
- Better Friends: I am not asking for more - nor are those already in the fold lacking in any way. I just wish really good things for the ones I have, thereby giving them better lives and times.
Post Script - 9:07 pm -
- After a particularly "enlightening" phone conversation and some heady reflection: I would forgo the entire list and countless things beyond it if Mr. Boots could grant a little more time.